Fat Cat

Fat Cat Lyric by Clive James, music by Pete Atkin
I know a fat cat, fatter than me That cat leads a life of luxury All he can eat, all he can eat All he can eat for free I know a fat cat, fatter than a fat pig Few can believe that this cat is that big All he can eat, all he can eat All he can eat for free The sensual expression Of utter self-possession His quality of thereness Arouses an awareness Of a life lived to the full He couldn't fight a ball of wool Forgotten how Bigger than a small cow Can't stretch his paws Spoiled by the applause Once got up to take a bow But he couldn't do it now This cat is so fat he's a hill on the floor Had to get the builders, he got stuck in a door They said they'd shifted boulders That cooperated more This cat purrin' Sounds like a diesel truck Spends a day barely stirrin' Couldn't give a Monkeys are more active But they're just not as attractive As this fat cat - couldn't catch a slow mouse Eats filet mignon - it's all on the house I got a cat flap other cats sail through This cat on the other hand can't get its tail through All he can eat, all he can eat All he can eat for free All he can eat, all he can eat All he can eat for free You can pick him up and stroke him But you might need a crane The only thing that ever woke him Was the whistle of the gravy train Put your finger out and poke him It's like pushin' at a cushion With not a sign of passion or of pain Except about food Food food food He's always in the mood For meat meat meat All he can eat Eat sleep and eat again Listening to music Practising the way of Zen All he can eat All he can eat for free, free, free Free of the worry The worry of the world of men Never in a hurry Never has to work again Bordering on decadence What a way to be All he can eat, all he can eat for free All he can eat, all he can eat All he can eat, and he can eat All he can eat, all he can eat for free