Black Funk Rex

Black Funk Rex Lyric by Clive James, music by Pete Atkin
I wanna talk about some guys with glitter on their eyes and cute lips It's an all-purpose noise that's already put the boys in the chips If you're talkin' about pre-teen sex you're talkin' 'bout Black Funk Rex Black Funk Rex are cuddly as rabbits They drone about elves and they drool about hobbits But their warmed-over whimsicality hardly inhibits Their wide repertoire of nauseating habits And when the amplifiers roar They sound like fairies waging atomic war They got one riff to their name Which isn't to their shame 'Cause the secret of their fame And the basis of the game Is that every song's the same And when the bass booms down there Like a constipated bear Breaking wind inside its lair Perspiration fills your hair And the lead shrieks up here Till it fills your mind with fear That an electronic spear Being hammered up your rear Is coming out your ear But the rhythm's got one lick So flatulently slick It's guaranteed to make you sick And the drummer's got one stick But he hits you like a kick In the stomach from a hick Serving ten years in the nick And the singer is a prick With a breath-bereaving trick Of twitching like a chick Who gives her bum a flick Like a giant facial tick And you couldn't call 'em quick In fact they're thicker than a brick But when they all turn up the wick It brings the tots Screaming up out of their prams and cots Black Funk Rex is the music of tomorrow Say it with pride though you hear it with sorrow They're the Middle Earth between L.A. and EC4 And your middle ear has never suffered like this before I'm talkin' 'bout some guys with glitter on their eyes and cute lips It's an all-purpose noise that's already put the boys in the chips If you're talkin' about pre-teen sex you're talkin' 'bout Black Funk Rex